The Golden Rule

There has been much talk in the media lately about compassion.  Just this morning I heard President Obama call for "A Day of Compassion" in relation to the events that recently took place in Tucson.  Last week I heard the governor of our state declare that he wanted to be known as a state that offers a warm welcome and compassion.  Compassion:  "is a virtue —one in which the emotional capacities of empathy and sympathy (for the suffering of others) are regarded as a part of love itself, and a cornerstone of greater social interconnectedness andhumanism —foundational to the highest principles in philosophy, society, and personhood."  It is sometimes thought of as the greatest of all virtues.


Why are we seeing so much less of it lately?    A friend called me this afternoon almost in tears.  She related an experience she'd had today at Del Taco.  She'd been out running errands and promised her 4 year old they'd stop for lunch.  After ordering she looked around and there wasn't a seat to be had in the entire restaurant.  It was then that she noticed about five other women dining that live on her street, including one that she diligently visit teaches each month, and another that secretly uses her trash can when hers is too full.   They'd pushed three tables together and they were talking and having a good time.  There was also a table next to them filled with garbage, but it was apparent that no one was sitting there.  She sheepishly approached the women and inquired if the anyone was sitting at the garbage table and they told her the person had left a long time ago.   She cleared a place and sat at the proximate table alone. 


I can understand how thoroughly uncomfortable and awkward it was for her. It's happened to me before too!   She listened to them talk about their soon to be kindergartners and watched her own playing alone in the playland. Through her tears she told me she was glad of two things:  that she brought a book, and that her back was to the women.  I don't know that she was looking for an invitation to join the women, but would that have been so difficult?  How hard is it too say, "Come sit here, join us."  


We (me, my friend, and the ladies at Del Taco) are members of the Latter Day Saint faith that teaches compassion, and sympathy, and empathy, and kindness, and charity.  We are supposed to be aware and sympathetic to another's distress and try and help alleviate it.  It seems we've forgotten the "Golden Rule", which is basically do unto others as you would have them do to you. 


After hearing her story I was reminded of this article in which the author laments that she has lived in an area for a year and has no friends.  It was also sad to read all the comments as well in which many stated that they felt lonely too.  


 My feelings are hurt for my friend.  My feelings are hurt for the woman at the gym this morning who was a bit overweight and walking on the treadmill in her stocking feet.  I know she heard the women behind her on the ellipticals making fun of her.  My feelings are hurt for the woman that was honked at in an intersection as she pushed a stroller and carried a screaming toddler all because an impatient man couldn't make a right turn on red.  My feelings were hurt last week when someone left a snarky and unnecessary comment on my blog.


As George Eliot said in Middlemarch, "What do we live for if not to make lives less difficult for each other."  Are we becoming so self centered and self righteous that we can't practice the Golden Rule? Really?  Compassion should be part of our daily lives, an automatic response.  We should be teaching our children this too.   We need to reach out, include, be kinder, be more charitable.  And, by the way, if you dined at the Del Taco in American Fork today and saw my friend and her daughter....shame on you!!